The Dementia Diary

Just another site

So it begins…………

on January 30, 2012

I haven’t been to see F i L (Father in Law) yet today – that pleasure is yet to come this evening, but I thought I’d start catching you up on some family history.

With a good dose of hindsight I can now say that I first thought F i L was ‘losing his marbles’ in August 1999.  I was heavily pregnant (I gave birth 3 weeks later) and we were having a holiday in Cromer, UK.  F i L and M i L had joined us there for a few days.

Now, to say that F i L is a bit pedantic and has difficulty understanding that not everything is black and white in life; there are shades of grey, is akin to saying that the Pacific ocean is a drop of water.  He often said the wrong thing without realising the upset he has caused, is oblivious to social cues and rubbish at empathy.  If it’s not done his way it’s wrong!

So back to Cromer.  We were packing up our stuff in the chalet we had rented and I was doing my best to ignore him.  After 3 days of being told that I was raising my existing child poorly, listening to sighs because I hadn’t given up the double bed for the in-laws (remember I was very pregnant and sharing that bed with my husband and 20 month old) and generally having to bend to F i L’s routine, I was pretty much at my last nerve and he was getting on it.

Hubby and I were packing up our belongings as M & F i L cleaned the kitchen.  He picked up the tea-pot and looked at the tea bags inside, then turned to me and asked

“What should I do with the tea-bags?”

I was a little confused.

“Put them in the bin.”  Wasn’t that obvious?  Obviously not because just a few minutes later he asked again.

“Put them in the bin!” I was a little louder, thinking perhaps he hadn’t heard me.

A few moments later – “What should I do with the tea-bags?”

I looked at my husband.  My husband looked at me.  He couldn’t have not heard again.

“Dad, put them in the bin!”

F i L looked at M i L. M i L took the teapot, took out the tea bags and put them in the bin.



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