The Dementia Diary

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The Modernistic Trousers

on February 2, 2012

The ACTUAL 'Modernistic Trousers'

Why do we call them Modernistic Trousers?

F i L was trying to describe them to me.

“The things I bought with [No. 2 son]”

“What things?”

“These things” (waving his hands up and down his body)

“Clothes?”

“Yes.  Clothes.  Here” (flapping hands at legs)

“Trousers?”

“Yes.  Those Modernistic Trousers!”

“Jeans?  That have been around for 150 years? Do you mean jeans?”

“Yes! Jeans!”

The name has stuck.

F i L has some track pants.  He wears them a lot because they are easy to get on and comfortable. Because he wears them in lot they are stained, stretched and just look plain awful.  Embarrassingly he goes out in them.

On a Saturday he goes to a coffee morning, that’s held in a church in town, to have a cup of tea, a piece of cake and some conversation.  Husband meets him there towards the end of the morning and together they look around the shops.  One such Saturday, husband arrived to find  F i L wearing his track pants, a dirty stained Windcheater that we can’t get him to part with, that’s three sizes too big, and a jumper with last nights dinner down the front.  In husband’s opinion (and possibly every one elses) he looked like a tramp.

We decided that he needed to buy some new clothes.  The track pants were horrendous so we suggested as a pair of casual trouser he might like to try wearing a pair of jeans.  He is 79 years old and had never worn a pair of jeans.

So the following week husband took him off to Marks and Sparks (the only place we can get him to buy clothes in ‘because they are quality clothes’).  They got there at around 11am and for the next 2 hours I received, via my phone, a series of photos of F i L in various pairs of casual trousers including jeans.  At 1pm I joined husband at the shop to offer moral support and by 5pm we had finally bought a pair of  camel coloured, chino cut, jeans.  6 hours in 1 shop to buy 1 pair of trousers!

For the next two weeks he wore them every day.

After these two weeks he told husband that he didn’t like these trousers.  They didn’t fit him!  Remember he took 6 hours trying them on.

Track pants cameltoe (male)

Image via Wikipedia

On further pressing it turned out that he was struggling to go to the toilet wearing them.  He had to take them down to do this.  This from the man who had been living in track pants!

Not only that, but they had been chaffing, and he was having to put cream on his ‘private area’ as it was so sore!

Then he said “Would you like the trousers son?”

Chaffing and toilet problems whilst wearing these jeans.  Husband went green in the face an turned them down.

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2 responses to “The Modernistic Trousers

  1. kimjoy24 says:

    Thanks for sharing, I can just see the look on your husband’s face when asked if he wanted the pants!

  2. […] We were not going through that […]

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