The Dementia Diary

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The Redundancy Discussion & X Ray Appointment

on February 15, 2012
MRT meines rechten Knies, von der Innenseite z...

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OK I admit it.  I am very grumpy around F i L right now.  Dealing with dementia and the self-absorbtion it causes is wearing.  He has sympathy and empathy for everybody except me and husband.  In his eyes we go through life untouched by worry or problems.  We are purely there to help him.

I picked him up today to take him to the local hospital for a routine blood test and an X ray on his knee. He’s 79 years old and surprised that his joints ache?!

He got into the car and immediately started telling me about a neighbour who has been made redundant.  This is surprising because he repeatedly tells us that he’s made no friends in his ‘new’ town and he doesn’t know who his neighbours are.  Well, he’s banging on about how awful it is that this guy has been has lost his job.  I have to interupt.

“I was made redundant 2 years ago!  That’s how I’ve ended up dog walking!”

I reminded him that I have seen my salary reduce by 80%, but that I still have the same bills to pay, and that myself and husband have been living pretty much hand to mouth for 2 years.

“Really??” he says genuinely surprised at news of my redundancy and our circumstances, although he’s heard this all before.  “I’d be so worried if that were me!”

D’ya think?!

Then he starts saying that it must be so worrying having to pay for children to go to university like No. 1 son.  No. 1 son must really be worried!

Don’t make me laugh! No. 1 son hires and fires people on £200k plus, lives in a huge house and drives a brand new Range Rover.  He’s hardly losing sleep over money.

“Poor [No. 1 son]! It must be so tricky!”

My son will be going to university in 3 years.  It costs £9,000 per year!  We are going to sell our house to fund it!  I know it’s tricky.  It’s been tricky for the past 2 years!

“Sell your home???”

“How else do you suggest we pay for university?”

“I don’t know.  Of course only No.1 son wanted to go to university so I was allright.”

I’m so happy for you.  (Can you feel the sarcasm leaping of the page?)

I drop him of at the entrance and go to park the car.  When I catch up with him (he’s only gone about 10 metres) he’s talking to a woman.  Listening in to the conversation this woman appears to be a friend of a friend who he met at just about the time he was moving to this town about 18 months ago.  As he walks away from he he says to me

“I have no idea who she is”

“Did you ask her?”

“No.  It’s more fun if I don’t know!” he jokes.  It’s also easier to wallow in the belief that he hasn’t made any friends if he doesn’t ask who they are.  The truth is he has, but he just doesn’t remember anyone, neither neighbours or new friends!

He has his blood test.  We trot (ok crawl) over to the X Ray department.  On the way to the X Ray room I whisper to the Radiologist

“I don’t care what he says, he’s here to have his knee X-rayed.  He’ll tell you it’s his foot, his leg, his whole body but it’s just the knee”

The Radiologist looks at his form and says

“It only says knee on his form so that’s all I can do!”

She takes him into the Radiology suite and says to him

“So, we’re looking at your knee today?”

“Oh no dear!  It’s my foot….”


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