The Dementia Diary

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The Homelessness Conundrum…..

on February 19, 2012

When husband and I went to see F i L yesterday (or as husband calls him ‘The Old Git’) we noticed a slight change in his behaviour.  Most people wouldn’t see it, but because we see him pretty much every day, it was noticeable to us.  He wouldn’t stop talking.

I say talking, but it was actually rambling.  He leapt from one subject to another without a pause for breath and, as usual, without finishing sentences.  It was hard going to follow him.

One subject he alighted on again was the cost of going to university.  A couple of days ago I told F i L that when time came for my children to go Uni husband and I would sell our house to fund this. Now, just in case my children are reading, this was said for effect and is not a promise.  He was after all banging on about impoverished No. 1 son who is down to his last swimming pool!  He couldn’t believe we would even consider selling our house, which after all is just bricks and mortar, to give our children the best start in life.

“I wouldn’t have considered selling my home you’ve worked hard for that of course No. 1 Son went to university and we could manage that but if No.2 Son had wanted to go we’d have found the money somehow but of course he didn’t.”

Husband was laughing at this.  F i L used to shut off one of the rooms in the house in winter because they ‘couldn’t afford to use it’.  There was no way his parent’s would have paid for university for him.  F i L had made that clear at the time.

“Your home is everything” he continued.  Not your family you notice – your home! “I was very lucky to have got a job with the bank of course that meant I had a cheap mortgage”

We’re so happy for you….

We let these thoughtless comments pass and within seconds he was onto another topic.

“When I get picked up for my club I don’t know where the driver takes us.  All the houses round here look the same.”

“The houses all looked the same where you used to live Dad. Roads full of identical houses.  It’s just that you’d lived there for 40 years so you didn’t notice” husband pointed out (although by the time we got to the car these words had come from my lips!)

“No they were different.  These houses are all the same.”

“They all have windows and doors.  Is that what you mean?”

“No they look the same.”  He was insistent.

“When we went to my mums house last weekend did any part of the journey seem familiar to you?” I asked him.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“You didn’t recognise an underground station we went past?”

“No I didn’t see that.”

“You used to travel through it 5 days a week, for about 40 years.”


“Yes we were 200 metres from your old house. No. 2 Son even said to you that you were back home again.”

“I didn’t recognise it”

Somehow dementia has made F i L homeless.


2 responses to “The Homelessness Conundrum…..

  1. kimjoy24 says:

    Great post. Really shows how the disease can affect one’s perception and thought processes.

  2. […] The Homelessness Conundrum….. ( […]

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