The Dementia Diary

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The Dementia Diagnosis

on March 22, 2012
Logo of Alzheimer's Society.

Logo of Alzheimer's Society. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve stuck to my guns and haven’t been to see F in Law for a week now.  This week has had highs and lows, and has tested my need to control too, but I haven’t given in, Husband has been really supportive and we’ve seen some minuscule steps forward.

I haven’t even spoken to F in Law but I have been getting relayed messages that he’s missing me.  I’ve been his companion for 19 months now so I completely understand that and I feel really sorry about it, but I will be suckered back in if I deal with any tiny little thing for him, however insignificant it seems.

One step forward is that F in Law has managed, at last, to understand that he needs to ask his other two sons for help (No.1 and No.3 sons).  Husband has dug his heels in and stood over his dad making him call the others rather than expecting us to do everything.  F in Law has argued with us about this endlessly because, in his words:

“They don’t do anything – they don’t help!”

but as we’ve said to him unless he asks them to, they won’t.  Husband told me that F in Law phoned No.1 son and said

“You need to help more.”

“What can I do dad?  I’m so far away!”

“Something son, do something!”

Priceless 🙂 I wish I had seen that…..


Today he had his appointment with the Psychiatrist.  When he told husband he had a hospital appointment husband said he should take a taxi, as unsurprisingly No.3 son couldn’t or wouldn’t take him.  I reminded husband that this wasn’t a routine appointment, this was the one we’ve been waiting for and someone had to be with him when he met the specialist.  Otherwise we’d never know what had happened.

Husband has used all of his annual leave and I had work, which meant that I needed the car.  Husband would have to take unpaid leave and a taxi with F in Law.  The reason No. 3 son couldn’t take him?  He was coming off of a night shift so wouldn’t get a full ‘nights’ sleep.  I don’t know exactly what was said between husband and his brother but No. 2 son took him to the hospital in the end.

The result of the appointment is that he has early stage Alzheimers.  He’s been prescribed medication to delay its progression.

I’m glad that we can now put a name to the problem.  I’ve spent over a year pushing for his family and his doctors to accept that there is a problem.  Perhaps now it’s official they will start to help.


2 responses to “The Dementia Diagnosis

  1. frangipani says:

    Glad you got a diagnosis, even though it’s bad news 😦 . Stick to your guns, and get the B in Laws’ books to get them up to speed. Denial is a huge problem.

  2. […] The Dementia Diagnosis ( […]

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